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I Am Enough

Updated: Oct 17, 2021

Talking about suicide and suicidal ideation is vital for our kids and our communities.

Doing so comes with a list of do’s and don’ts for important reasons. Many of us have fears of saying the wrong thing or creating suicide contagion (unintentionally increasing more suicide attempts). As parents and fellow Mama Dragons, we can help remove the shame felt by us and our LGBTQIA children by normalizing and demystify this topic through educated conversation. The first step is to become educated about suicide ideation and prevention ourselves. Through educating yourself and others we can have appropriate open talk and understanding of the complexities of suicidal ideation and behavior. We can keep listening and create safe spaces so the people we love can keep talking.

I am Enough

Written by Shannon Abney

I am suicidal and have been for 30 years. I’m grateful my first attempt was unsuccessful, because I have learned a lot about being suicidal and what works for me to stay alive.

Also please know this is not a cry for help, I’m as good today, as I was all the days before.

I have lost many friends from death by suicide, including a wise and loving soul this past weekend. So I’m sharing my long struggle with suicide in hopes that anyone else who is suicidal will know that they are not alone, and it’s not a lack of moral character, a positive attitude or willpower that makes us suicidal, it’s the chemicals in our brain.

I have been suicidal since having PTSD at age 15. For me to stay alive it is mandatory to have a suicide plan and a loving support system of people who are aware of the plan, my situation and my needs. Also, it helped to know that I don’t have to stay alive forever, I just promise I will stay alive until tomorrow (or the next hour, if needed) and so far that decision to put my plan in place and hang on one more day has worked for 11240 days and counting. And whenever my last day comes, all is well.

Please don’t judge anyone who has died by suicide. Dying by suicide is not an act of selfishness, as many people believe. Sure, it is a decision to end one’s life, but only because the choices in front of them appear dark, pointless and hopeless. Our brain is lying to us, but we can’t see it as a lie in that moment.

Today I can promise I’ll be here tomorrow. And hopefully I can make that same promise the day after and the day after that. And when I feel like I may not be able to make that promise, I call my support system and put myself in a position where I am unable to hurt myself. I am one of the lucky ones because I’ve had the time to figure out what works for me today.

There are many resources available in regards to suicide plans. Please reach out.

Call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HELLO to 741-741 for free support from the Crisis Text Line.

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