Letter to Utah Governor Spencer Cox

Jun 16
4 min read

Updated: Jul 23

Dear Governor Cox,

I am the Executive Director of Mama Dragons - a national organization representing mothers with LGBTQ+ children that started in Utah over a decade ago and now counts over 25,000 families across the country as members.

Last weekend, Mama Dragons participated in Utah Pride alongside our friends at Dragon Dads. Together, we marched with families, staffed festival booths, and connected with parents from across the region. I also had the opportunity to speak on the steps of the Utah State Capitol about what Pride means to the more than 25,000 families in the Mama Dragons community and the many fathers, caregivers, and allies represented through organizations like Dragon Dads.

Throughout the weekend, we listened to parents share their stories. We spoke with mothers, fathers, and caregivers who felt deeply hurt by your proclamation of fidelity but not pride. Several described feeling betrayed. Others expressed disappointment because they had previously viewed you as someone willing to engage LGBTQ+ people and their families with compassion and humanity. More than a few saw the proclamation as a political gesture that diminished the thoughtful and principled leadership they had once hoped to see from your office.

What troubled these parents most was the implication that fidelity and Pride somehow exist in opposition to one another.

Because if we are going to talk about fidelity, we should talk about what it looks like in the lives of real families.

It is the mother who chooses relationship over fear.

It is the father who chooses connection over certainty.

It is the parent who stays at the table when conversations become difficult.

It is the family that refuses to let politics, social pressure, or misunderstanding sever the bonds that hold them together.

For many of the parents we serve - and for many of the fathers represented by Dragon Dads - this commitment is not separate from their faith.

It is an expression of it.

Many were taught that parenthood is among life's highest callings. They believe they were entrusted with the sacred responsibility to nurture, protect, guide, and love their children.

When they choose to affirm and support an LGBTQ+ child, they are not abandoning that calling.

They are fulfilling it.

When a mother spends sleepless nights learning how to keep her child safe, that is fidelity.

When a father challenges long-held assumptions because his relationship with his child matters more than his comfort, that is fidelity.

When parents stand beside a child who fears rejection and say, "You belong here. You are loved. We are not leaving," that is fidelity.

When families choose understanding over estrangement and love over abandonment, that is fidelity.

And it is not merely a philosophical question. It is a matter of life and death.

Research consistently shows that LGBTQ+ youth who experience family rejection face dramatically worse outcomes than those who are affirmed and supported. The Family Acceptance Project found that LGBTQ+ young people who experienced high levels of family rejection were more than eight times as likely to attempt suicide and significantly more likely to experience depression and substance misuse. The Trevor Project continues to find that supportive families are among the strongest protective factors for LGBTQ+ youth mental health and well-being.

We also know that LGBTQ+ youth are vastly overrepresented among homeless youth populations. While estimates vary, national studies consistently find that LGBTQ+ youth make up roughly 40% of youth experiencing homelessness despite representing a much smaller percentage of the overall youth population.

Family rejection remains one of the leading causes.

These outcomes are not caused by being LGBTQ+. They are caused by rejection.

And that is why so many parents have embraced Pride Month - not because they reject family values, but because they are fighting to preserve them.

For decades, LGBTQ+ people were told that living honestly would cost them their families. Many paid that price. Many still do. Pride emerged not as a celebration of division, but as a declaration that LGBTQ+ people deserve dignity, belonging, and the opportunity to remain connected to the people they love.

The parents we met at Pride are not rejecting family values. They are living them.

And for many of them, Pride is not a celebration of identity alone. It is a celebration of families that stayed together when every force around them seemed to be pulling them apart.

That is why so many parents struggle to understand how a month intended to honor love, community, and expression of self could be framed in a way that appears to diminish the experiences of LGBTQ+ people and the families who love them.

Because the strongest expression of fidelity is not allegiance to an idea.

It is steadfast love for the people entrusted to our care.

Please consider how your words, whether spoken or implied, impact the health and wellbeing of all families and the greater community of Utah.

Respectfully,

Liz Welch - Mama Dragons, Executive Director

on behalf of Mama Dragons:

Christin Kreml - Board Chair

Maoputasi Young, JD - Board Treasurer

Board Members:

Ruth Ashurst Weitzel

Neca Allgood, PhD

Cole Brennan